Link's Vacation
by Deranged Mastermind
Summary: Link goes to Las Vegas and Mario opens up a restaraunt. (My first Fanfic for FF.net)
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own SSBM or Nintendo or 1-800-COLLECT nor have I ripped off anyone intentionally. So don't sue me.  
  
LINK'S VACATION  
Day 1 of 3  
  
Having won a Nintendo "Name your favorite character contest."(yes, I made that up) Link was given 6 plane tickets and a pre-payed stay at a 5-star hotel in Las Vegas all courtesy of Nintendo. Mario however, was not all to happy about this. Link didn't even invite him! And his fans, how could they do that to him? Pick Link over Mario!? Hmph! Needless to say this was a bit too much for Mario, whom had been used to believing he was number 1, to handle and had driven him off the deep end.  
  
(We see Mario sitting in a bus somewhere in Smash Bros City.)  
  
Mario: Stupid Link. He could have-a at least invited me but-a noooo...Wait I know-a! I'll-a open up-a business and-a make MILLIONS! Then I can buy my own-a really fancy cruise-a ship and when-a Link begs-a me to let him go on my really fancy cruise-a ship I'll say "No! you cannot go on my really fancy cruise-a ship!" And when he cries like-a the baby he is I'll-a point and laugh! Like so! Mwahahahahaha!  
  
Guy sitting across from Mario: *Stares at Mario like he's a lunatic.*  
  
Mario: *Notices the guy staring at him.* Stop-a staring at-a me like-a that fool! The last person that stared at-a like-a that, I ate-a his liver with-a some fava beans and a nice chianti!  
  
Guy: Ahhhhhhh!! *Runs to the front of the bus and jumps out.*  
  
Mario: Oh-a yes Link. You WILL see who is-a the REAL star around here! Mwahahahahahahaha!  
  
(Meanwhile Link and his invited guests, Roy, Fox, Falco, Bowser, and of course, Zelda, have just stepped off the plane at the Las Vegas airport.)  
  
Bowser: Finally! I thought we were going to be on that plane forever!  
  
Fox: It was only 2 hours!  
  
Bowser: But that's a really long time! Like half a day!  
  
Fox: Idiot.  
  
Bowser: What?  
  
Fox: Er, nothing.  
  
Roy: I'm hungry. When are we gonna eat?  
  
Link: There's probably a restaraunt at or near the hotel. We can eat then.  
  
Bowser: I have food! *Pulls a moldy old pizza out of his shell.*  
  
Zelda: Eww!  
  
Fox: Ugh.  
  
Falco: That's disgusting.  
  
Roy: Um, no thanks. I seem to have lost my appetite all of a sudden.  
  
Bowser: Your loss. *Eats the pizza.*  
  
Link: Were did that come from?  
  
Bowser: I don't really know. I didn't even know it was in there until just a few minutes ago. The last time I ate pizza was when me and Wario got smashed and raided pizza hut wearing viking costumes and screaming "WE OWNZ YA'LLZ AZZ!!!"  
  
Link: And when was that?  
  
Bowser: A few months back.  
  
Zelda: Ewwww!!  
  
Bowser: What?! You all act like you've never eaten month old food before!  
  
Link: Rrriiiight.  
  
Roy: Hey Link, how do we even get to the hotel?  
  
Link: There's supposed to be a limo waiting for us in the parking lot.  
  
Falco: A limo? Kick ass! Let's go!  
  
(Back in the Smash Bros City Mario and Luigi can be seen standing in front of a worn out old building in a not so nice part of town.)  
  
Mario: Well this is-a it!  
  
Luigi: THIS is how-a you plan on making millions?! By turning THAT into a restaraunt?!  
  
Mario: Hey, look-a at McDonalds or-a KFC or-a Burger King! They did it, why can't I-a?  
  
Luigi: Ugh. Just tell-a me one thing. Why am I here?  
  
Mario: 1. So-a you can help become a millionare which will put-a me in a better position to screw Link over every chance I get-a.  
And-a 2. I needed someone to be the chef-a.  
  
Luigi: What about Peach-a?  
  
Mario: Are kidding?! Even Bowser won't-a eat her food!  
  
(Back in the city of sin and neon lights, Link and co. have finally found the limo and are on there way to the hotel.)  
  
Roy: *Is watching soap operas on the built-in t.v. of the limo.* No! Did you hear that Fox?! Lisa is cheating on Dan! LISA IS ****ING CHEATING ON DAN!! THAT BITCH!!  
  
Fox: Um, yeah. Whatever.  
  
Bowser: *Is also watching the soaps.* Oh the humanity!  
  
Falco: I hate soaps.  
  
Zelda: *Is looking at all the lights through the window.* They're so bueatiful! Hey Link you've got to see this!  
  
Link: Zzzzzzzz-just five more minutes-zzzzzzz...  
  
Zelda: Link?  
  
(Suddenly a commercial interrupts Roy and Bowser's soap.)  
  
R & B in unison: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Falco: Hey that guy in the commercial looks familiar.  
  
Fox: It's D.K.!  
  
Falco: I knew that.  
  
D.K.: *Walks up to a guy at a phone booth in the commercial.* Yo' sucka! You callin' collect'?  
  
Guy: Yeah. I had car troubles so I'm calling my boss to tell him I'm going to be late.  
  
D.K.: You usin' 1-800-(D)KOLLECT to save a quarter er two?  
  
Guy: No actually I'm using 1-800-COLLECT.  
  
D.K.: WHAT?!  
  
Guy: Uh-oh. *Attempts to run but D.K. hits him with his wind-up punch and sends him sailing over the horizon.*  
  
D.K.: Damn lousy son of a...  
  
Director: Ahem!  
  
D.K.: Huh? Oh right. The commercial. *Turns back towards the camera.*  
  
D.K.: Listen here all you suckas! Unless you want to kick yo' ass kicked like dat' lousy sucka back dere den' you best use 1-800-(D)KOLLECT and save quarter er two! *The commercial ends.*  
  
Falco: Well that was interesting.  
  
Fox: *Flips channel over to some horror movie.*  
  
Roy: *Points a finger at Fox.* YOU BASTARD! CHANGE IT BACK NOW!  
  
Bowser: OR ELSE!  
  
Fox: Alright alright! Geez! You guys need some sedatives or something.  
  
Link: Zzzzz-I don't want to go to school mommy-zzzzz... 


	2. Link's Vacation Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still don't own SSBM or Nintendo or 1-800-COLLECT.  
  
Warning: This chapter contains some Luigi bashing.  
  
LINK'S VACATION (Chapter 2)  
Day 1 of 3  
  
(In Las Vegas, Link and co. have reached the hotel.)  
  
Falco: *Is looking over the Casino area.* Oh yeah baby! Daddy has come to town!  
  
Fox: So I take it, that therapy session didn't help your gambling addiction?  
  
Falco: That's what you think. I can stop any time I want.  
  
Fox: We'll see about that.  
  
Link: *Walks up to the front desk.* I'm the Nintendo "Name your favorite character contest" winner.  
  
Manager: Well good for you.  
  
Link: Well? Aren't you going to give us are rooms?  
  
Manager: Huh? Oh that contest! Sorry I forget about that. And these are your 5 guests?  
  
Falco: No duh genious.  
  
Zelda: *Hits Falco upside the head.* Don't be rude!  
  
Falco: I'm always rude and sarcastic! It's my past time!  
  
Fox: Idiot.  
  
Falco: Moron.  
  
Manager: Alright: Link and Zelda have room 12. Roy and Fox and Farco-  
Falco: Falco!  
Manager: -have room 11 and Roy and Bowser have room 13. Here are your keys.  
  
Fox: Shouldn't we have separate rooms?  
  
Manager: Sorry. Nintendo only payed for 3 rooms.  
  
Roy: Umm...  
  
Manager: Yes?  
  
Roy: Isn't the number 13 bad?  
  
Manager: Only if your superstitous. Now if you'll all please move, there are other people waiting in line.  
  
Zelda: Hey, where's Bowser?  
  
Link: I think I saw him go into the restaraunt.  
  
(In the restaraunt of the hotel, Bowser is stuffing his face at the all-you-can-eat buffet with all the agression of a mad boar.)  
  
Chef 1: Look at him go! I've never seen some one eat like that!  
  
Chef 2: Look at how he's eating! The unspeakable rudeness!  
  
(Bowser finishes off the buffet at goes over to the pastry area, where a number of pastries can be seen behind a glass casing under the counter. Bowser brakes the glass and starts eating the pastries which are NOT free.)  
  
Chef 1: Not good.  
  
Chef 2: That's it! We've got to do something!  
  
Chef 1: We've? *Looks at Bowser and then back at Chef 2.* Er, I would but I value my health, so I think I'll just stay over here.  
  
Chef 2: Fine then! *Storms over to where Bowser is.* Look you! You'd had better plan on paying for all that or else I'll call security!  
  
Bowser: *Looks at Chef 2 for a moment and then eats him.*  
  
Chef 2: Ahhhhhh!! *Get's swallowed.*  
  
Chef 1: Damn. My second chef got knocked into a coma by some gorilla and now my third chef get's eaten! What a day.  
  
(Roy walks into the restaraunt.)  
  
Roy: *Looks around.* Woah! What happened? *Sees Bowser.* Oh.  
  
Bowser: WAZZZZZZZUP!!  
  
Roy: Gah! Don't do that!  
  
Bowser: Cool.  
  
Roy: ? Whatever.  
  
(Roy sits down at a tabel. Bowser follows. A waitress walks over.)  
  
Waitress: Can I get you two anything?  
  
Bowser: I'll have 30 orders of cheeseburgers, 50 orders of large fries, and a large diet coke.  
  
Roy: A diet coke?  
  
Waitress: And what about you young man? Want to try are kid's special sweetie.  
  
Bowser: *Snickers.*  
  
Roy: Young man? Sweetie? Have you even played Fire Emblem?  
  
Waitress: Is that like monopoly?  
  
Roy: *Grumbles.* I'll have a cheeseburger with a medium pepsi and a medium order of fries.  
  
(Meanwhile in the casino area.)  
  
Falco: *Is playing Blackjack.* GIVE IT TOO ME DAMN IT!! GIVE IT TO ME!!! YES! YES! *Doesn't win.* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
(Back in Smash Bros City...)  
  
Luigi: *Is busy repairing something.*  
  
Mario: *Is sitting in a lawn chair with his SMS tourist gear on and is eating a some potato chips.* This is hard-a work, huh Luigi?  
  
Luigi: *Grits his teeth.* Tell me about it.  
  
Mario: OH NO!  
  
Luigi: What?!  
  
Mario: I'm-a out of potato chips!  
  
Luigi: So-a?  
  
Mario: Could-a you go get some more?  
  
Luigi: But I...  
  
Mario: No buts! Hop-a to it man!  
  
Luigi: *Bitterly.* Fine.  
  
Mario: Oh ****! I can't-a reach my lemonade without getting up! Luigi! Luigi?!  
  
(Meanwhile, at the nearby convenient store.)  
  
Luigi: *Mumbling.* Racka, Frakken...  
  
Gang Member 1: *Sees Luigi.* Yo' dat foo looks like one a dose' Red Dawgz!  
  
Gang Member 2: In ARE territory?!  
  
Gang Member 3: Let's kick his ass!  
  
Luigi: Huh? What the-Ahhhhhhhh!!!  
  
Gang Members: *Knocks Luigi to the ground and starts beating on him.*  
  
Luigi: No! Not in the face! OWWWW!!!  
  
GM1: *Pulls out a flame thrower.* Hell yeah!  
  
Luigi: HELL-A NO-A!!  
  
GM1: *Blasts Luigi with the flame thrower.*  
  
Luigi: *Runs around in circles on fire.* OH GOD IT BURNS!!!  
  
GM2: *Hits Luigi with a baseball bat and sends him flying.*  
  
Luigi: *Soars through the air.* Ahhhhhh!!!  
  
Girl: Hey sweetie, look! It's a shooting star!  
  
Guy: Are you sure? It doesn't look like any shooting star I've ever seen.  
  
(Luigi lands not far away. His landing puts out the fire but leaves him charred black.)  
  
Luigi: Owie...  
  
Different Gang Member 1: *Notices the charred Luigi.* Hey dawgz look! It's a white boy tryin' ta look like a brotha!  
  
Different Gang Member 2: ****!  
  
Different Gang Member 3: Let's kick his ass!  
  
Luigi: NOOOOOO!!!  
  
(In the casino area of the hotel back in Las Vegas.)  
  
Falco: *Is at a slot machine.* COME ON YOU STUPID PIECE OF JUNK! DADDY NEEDS HIS MEDICINE! NO! NOOOOO!! *Doesn't win...again.* DAMN IT! THAT'S IT!!  
  
(Falco kicks the slot machine but since it's metal he hurts his own foot.)  
  
Falco: *Hops around holding his foot.* @$#%! That hurts!  
  
Pit Boss Marco: Excuse me sir but I've had several complaints about you. I'm afraid your going to have to leave the casino.  
  
Falco: *Holds up middle finger.* Screw you!  
  
Marco: Then I'm going to have to force you to leave.  
  
Falco: You'll never take me alive!  
  
(Falco attempts to run but Marco grabs him by his collar and lifts him up.)  
  
Falco: Damn you! Put me down! *Attempts to punch Marco but his arms are to short to do so.*  
  
Marco: *Carries Falco to the exit.* Have a nice night sir...Just not here. *Throws Falco out of the casino area.*  
  
(Meanwhile after Bowser and Roy finished eating Bowser and Link decided to check out the bar before hitting town. But since Bowser is not good at controlling his alchohol intake he got drunk...really drunk.)  
  
Bowser: *Slurring.* Gimme more...  
  
Link: Um, Bowser? Don't you think you've had enough?  
  
Bowser: *Turns to Link.* I'VE HAD ENOUGH WHEN I SAY I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!! NOW SHUT IT OR I'LL RIP OFF YOUR ARMS AND BEAT YOU WITH THEM!!!  
  
Link: AHHHHHH!!! *Screams and runs off crying.*  
  
Bowser: *Turns back to the bartender.* Gimme more...  
  
Bartender: Uhhh...  
  
Bowser: I SAID GIMME MORE DAMMIT OR I'LL ROAST YOU AND EAT YOU!!!  
  
Bartender: Yes sir! Right away sir! 


	3. Link's Vacation Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own SSBM or Nintendo or 1-800-COLLECT or the SCSA gimmick or Sega or Sonic Team.  
  
LINK'S VACATION (Chapter 3)  
Day 1 of 3  
Cameo-mania!  
===========================  
---------------------------  
(Back in Smash Bros City...)  
  
Mario: Where were you?! Did you know I couldn't reach my lemonade?! And what's with these potato chips?! There all burned and broken and everything!  
  
Luigi: Grrrr!  
  
Mario: Hey what are you doing?! No! AHHHHHHH!!  
  
(Luigi KO's Mario with his flaming coin uppercut launching the obese plumber straight into the stratus sphere.)  
  
Mario: MAMA MIAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
Luigi: You know? I should have done that many years ago.  
  
(Back in Vegas we see a black pick up truck with a flaming skull symbol on the hood driving down a highway. Inside the truck is our disgruntled villain, Stone Cold Steve Austin.)  
  
Stone Cold Steve Austin: *Is singing horribly off cue too Rainy Days.) It's a rainy daaay! WHAT?! It's a rainy daaay! WHAT?! I don't know the lyrics so I'm singin' thiiis! WHAT?!  
  
(Back in the hotel we see a cardboard box slowly sliding along the floor towards the casino. Under that box is none other than...)  
  
Falco: Oh man! I'm almost there! I can see the slot machines!  
  
(Just then Marco takes notice of the suspicous box.)  
  
Marco: The hell?!  
  
Falco: I'm such a genious! This plan is full-proof! *Suddenly the box hits something.* What was that?!  
  
(Marco lifts up the box.)  
  
Marco: Hello.  
  
Falco: Ah ****!  
  
(A few seconds later...)  
  
Falco: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Fox: Hmm? Do I hear a scream?  
  
(Suddenly, Falco comes flying from the casino area.)  
  
Falco: MAY DAY!  
  
(Falco flies past Fox and hits a wall.)  
  
Falco: Ow. *Slowly slides off the wall.*  
  
Marco: And stay out this time!  
  
Fox: Falco you could just go to a different casino you know. I mean this is Las Vegas after all.  
  
Falco: Different...casino? Hmph! I know that! It's just...that...I didn't want to have to walk that far! Yeah! That's it! I'm not stupid you know. Really. *Walks off towards the exit.*  
  
Fox: Rrriiight.  
  
(Outside, Falco comes out of the front doors of the hotel.)  
  
Falco: Hey there's a casino across the road! I'll go there!  
  
(Suddenly the screeching of tires can be heard as SCSA'a truck turns into the parking and heads straight for Falco.)  
  
Falco: WTF?! NO! STOP!!  
  
(Falco attempts to dodge out of the way but Austin hits him and sends him flying.)  
  
Falco: *Crashes into a nearby truck.* Ugh...  
  
SCSA: *Gets out of his truck.*  
  
Falco: You hit me!  
  
SCSA: WHAT?!  
  
Falco: You ****in' hit me!  
  
SCSA: WHAT?!  
  
Falco: Get a doctor!  
  
SCSA: WHAT?!  
  
Falco: An ambulance!  
  
SCSA: WHAT?!  
  
Falco: A medi-kit!  
  
SCSA: I ain't got no medi-kit, but I've got this!  
  
(SCSA picks Falco up and gives him a Stone Cold Stunner.)  
  
SCSA: Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass and that's the bottom line cuz, WHAT?!, Stone Cold says so!  
  
Falco: Jack.... ass. *Falls unconscious.*  
  
(Inside the hotel...)  
  
Roy: Room 13. *Gulp.* Calm down Roy! There's nothing to be afraid of. The manager is absolutely right. There's no such thing as bad luck unless your superstitous.  
  
???: Oh Roy....  
  
Roy: Huh?  
  
(Roy turns around to see two ghostly little girls glaring at him.)  
  
Twins: Will you come play with us.  
  
Roy: Ahhh!! Ghosts!  
  
(Roy runs into a nearby room. The views pans out and we see the number "13" on the door. Dun dun dun!)  
  
Roy: That was close! Wait. What's that?  
  
(Across the room "REDRUM" appears on the wall in blood and a maniacal laugh ecos throug out the room.)  
  
Roy: NOOO!!  
  
(A mysterious pitch black shadow forms across from Roy and starts consuming the room in darkness. Roy attempts to open the door but finds that it is stuck.)  
  
Roy: No! Not now! Anytime but now!  
  
(In desperation Roy bangs on the door as the darkness draws nearer and nearer.)  
  
Roy: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
(Everything turns to black as the shadow consumes the last corner of the room. A few seconds later an evil laugh eminates from the darkness and Roy's scream stops.)  
  
(Meanwhile, in the casino...)  
  
Fox: Are sure this is a good idea? When I watch Falco gamble all I hear is him cussing while hands some other highroller a bunch of money.  
  
Link: It's my idea isn't it? Therefore it must be a good idea!  
  
Falco: Your starting to sound like Falco.  
  
Link: Come on!  
  
(Link and Falco walk towards a black jack table to gamble when Link runs into are all too sadistic bad guy, Stone Cold Steve Austin!)  
  
Link: Hey! Watch where your going, cueball!  
  
SCSA: Did you just call me a cueball?!  
  
Link: Yes I-  
SCSA: WHAT?!  
  
Link: I said-  
SCSA: WHAT?! Shutup! WHAT?! I said shutup!  
  
SCSA: You know what my watch says? *Holds his watch to his ear.* It says it's time for me to open up a can of whoop ass!  
  
Link: Oh yeah?!  
  
(Link reaches for his sword but finds it isn't there.)  
  
Link: *Is thinking.* Oh crap! I left my weapons in my luggage!  
  
Link: Um, how about we talk this over in a civilized manner?  
  
SCSA: I don't think so!  
  
Link: Oh crap!  
  
Fox: I'll just be over here.  
  
(SCSA gives Link a stunner taking him down. Austin then picks him up and smashes him into a slot machine several times before clotheslining him to the ground again.)  
  
Link: Fox! Do something!  
  
Fox: *Whistles and casually walks away.*  
  
SCSA: Say your prayers, sissy boy!  
  
Link: Don't kill me! I'm too pretty to die!  
  
???: Hold it right there!  
  
SCSA: Who dares interrupt Stone Cold when he's handin' out some whoop ass?!  
  
Link: Zelda!  
  
Zelda: Stop beating up my boyfriend or else!  
  
SCSA: Or else what? You gonna sissy slap me?! Careful! You might break a nail! Hahaha!  
  
Zelda: You asked for it!  
  
(As SCSA laughed at his little joke Zelda grabbed him and held him above her head.)  
  
Link: Holy ****!  
  
SCSA: Ahhhh! Put me down you crazy-  
  
(Before Austin could finish his sentence Zelda threw him and sent him crashing through a table.)  
  
Zelda: Jerk.  
  
SCSA: Ow.... I think I ruptered my spleen.  
  
(Suddenly Falco stormed into the casino area wielding a sledge hammer.)  
  
Falco: When I find that son of bitch I'm gonna make him PAY!  
  
SCSA: Not good.  
  
Falco: THERE YOU ARE!!!  
  
SCSA: Oh %$#@! *Runs.*  
  
Falco: COME BACK HERE!!!  
  
(Austin ran faster than he ever had with the sledgehammer wielding Falco in hot pursuit.)  
  
Fox: Guess he got what he diserved.  
  
Link: And now your going to get what YOU diserve!  
  
Fox: Huh?! Wait. No. Come on Link! I'm sorry! I really am!  
  
Link: (Popping his knuckles.) Is that so?  
  
Fox: I wanted to help, honest! But I.... I.... Hey look, it's some really famous guy!  
  
Link: What? Where! *Turns around to look.*  
  
Fox: SUCKER!! *Runs.*  
  
Link: Dammit! *Gives chase.*  
  
Zelda: Some how I figured something like this would happen.  
  
(Elsewhere.)  
  
SCSA: Ah hell! I gotta get out of here or that psycho's going to kill me!  
  
(Austin darted out into the parking lot but he turned pale when he saw that his truck had been wrecked.)  
  
SCSA: OH @!#%!!  
  
Falco: DIE!!!  
  
(Austin turned around to see Falco charging towards him like a rabid bull. Austin ran towards the road and summoned a cab and quickley climbed.)  
  
Cab Driver: Where to?  
  
Austin: ANYWHERE!!! Just go!!  
  
(The cab sped off leaving Falco in the dust. Not willing to let SCSA go that easily, Falco summoned a cab of his own.)  
  
Cab Driver: Where-  
Falco: GET OUT!!!  
  
Cab Driver: WTF?!  
  
(Falco grabbed the shocked cab driver and flung him out of his seat and climbed in and took off.)  
  
Cab Driver: Hey that freak just stole my cab! Police!!  
  
(One week and 37 minutes in the future we see a really dark spooky castle on top of a really scary mountain. A really, uh, evil storm rages over head. Inside the really dark, spooky, castle in a really dark, spooky, room are several mysterious figures.)  
  
???: Dammit! Someone turn on the lights!  
  
???: I think I found the switch!  
  
(When the flips on we can see varias Sonic characters scattered throughout the room. The room itself is a typical Dr.Frankenstein-esque mad scientists laboratory. On the table in the middle of the room, covered by a sheet, lies what appears to be a body!)  
  
Sonic: Finally my plan has come full circle and I will be able to eaxact glorious revenge on Link! Mwahahahaha!!!  
  
Shadow: Revenge on him for what?  
  
Sonic: For everyone thinking he's cooler than me! I mean COME ON! I'm Sonic the hedgehog! No ones cooler than me and once I kill that stupid pointy eared bafoon the whole world will once again see that! Mwahahahaha!!!  
  
Shadow: Riiight.  
  
Knuckles: What the hell am I even doing here?  
  
Shadow: I'd like to know the same.  
  
Knuckles: Hey, aren't you supposed to be dead?  
  
Shadow: Death is irrelevant. One can die a hundred deaths in a video game and still come back if they have enough lives. Plus the author thinks I'm cooler than Sonic.... but don't tell Sonic that.  
  
Knuckles: I see what you mean.  
  
Sonic: Activate the switch!  
  
Tails: *Presses a button on the massive control panel.*  
  
(A panel on the roof opens up and the table with body on it begins rise upwards.)  
  
Sonic: YES! MWAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Amy: Is it just me or is Sonic acting really wierd?  
  
Shadow: And it took you how long to notice?!  
  
(A huge lightning bolt hits the table with the body on it. The table cackles wildly like an electric fire for a minute as everyone watches in awe, well, except for Sonic himself, who's too busy laughing evilly like some insane B-movie villain. The burned sheet falls to the ground and a shadowy, metallic, figure rises from the table. It's red eyes glowing in the darkness.)  
  
Sonic: IT LIVES!!!  
  
Knuckles: Metal Sonic?!  
  
Sonic: Metal Sonic, I order you to go into the past and destroy Link!  
  
Knuckles: Metal Sonic can time travel?!  
  
(As Knuckles pondered what in the nine hells was going on Metal Sonic began to cackle with electricity. The metal fiend leaped off the table and disappeared in thin air, mid-fall.)  
  
Knuckles: Would someone tell me what just happened?!  
  
Tails: Sonic made me repair Metal Sonic using the chaos drives so he could use him for his revenge on Link.  
  
Knuckles: Oh.  
  
Sonic: MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Shadow: Hey Sonic.  
  
Sonic: One second. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Okay, what is it?  
  
Shadow: Why did you have to send Metal Sonic into the past to kill Link when you could have sent after him now?  
  
Sonic: Because, you see, I may have flunked most of my high school classes but I'm no idiot! My cala, calfu, uh....  
  
Shadow: Calculations?  
  
Sonic: That's what I said, calculations. Anyway, my genious calacoolations determined that the airport most likely would not let Link take his weapons aboard the plane with him. Therefore, he must not have them!  
  
Shadow: Just because they wouldn't let him take them with him into the passenger area doesn't mean they aren't with him now.  
  
Sonic: What?  
  
Shadow: Nevermind. Your an idiot.  
  
Sonic: Hey!  
  
(Back in the past, or is that the present? Well, anyway, in the desert, just outside of Vegas, an elecrical flare builds up lighting up the whole area. When it fades we see Metal Sonic standing there.)  
  
Metal Sonic: Yes! I sHaLl FinD teh LINK aNd dESTRoy HiM! Ha.... ha!  
  
---  
Deranged Mastermind: Will Metal Sonic succeed in his mission?  
  
Metal Sonic: MuST DeStRoy LinK!  
  
Deranged Mastermind: Will Mario and Luigi ever actually open there restaraunt? What will Link do to Fox? Will Austin escape from Falco? Will Bowser ever be sober again? What happened to Roy? Find out in-  
???: Woah! Hold on!  
  
Deranged Mastermind: Huh?  
  
D.K.: Why the HELL was I not in 'dis chapter?! I am THE most important character after all.  
  
Deranged Mastermind: Don't worry your going to be in the next chapter.  
  
D.K.: Good cuz' I don't wanna have ta kick yo' ass!  
  
Deranged Mastermind: Riiight.  
  
(Somewhere.)  
  
Cab Driver: I'm guessing your not going to pay for this are you?  
  
SCSA: No! Now shutup and keep drivin'!  
  
(In the other cab.)  
  
Falco: I'll get you Austin! You here me! You're dead!! 


	4. Link Rants and Metal Sonic Attacks!

Disclaimer: By now you should know but I'll say it again anyway. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!!!  
  
Author's Notes: I upped the rating for gory content that is to appear later and well that's pretty much the only new ordeal.  
  
LINK'S VACATION (Chapter 4)  
Day 1 of 3 (Am I ever going to get to day 2?)  
Link Rants and Metal Sonic Attacks!  
=============================================  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Link: That's it! I've had it!  
  
SCSA: WHAT?!  
  
Deranged Mastermind: What are you talking about?  
  
Link: Your an idiot! An incompetent moron of a writer!  
  
DM: WHAT?!  
  
SCSA: Hey that's my line!  
  
DM: And how am I incompetent? Hm?  
  
Link: First of all what's with him?!  
  
DM: Who? Austin?  
  
Link: Yeah! He's a wrestler! In an SSBM fanfic!  
  
DM: So?  
  
Link: IT'S NOT RIGHT!!!  
  
DM: It isn't?  
  
Link: Plus it doesn't make sense! He's SUPPOSED to be in jail somewhere in Texas am I correct?  
  
SCSA: IT WASN'T ME! I'M INNOCENT!!!  
  
DM: Actually he got bail a while ago.  
  
Link: That still doesn't explain what he's doing he's doing here.  
  
DM: Well, the WWE isn't paying him anymore and I needed something to help move the story along so....  
  
Link: Ugh. What's next?! Freddy Krueger?!  
  
DM: Well....  
  
Freddy Krueger: *Appearing out of no where.* Am I on yet?  
  
Link: Gah! That's it! I quit before you get me eaten by zombies or something!  
  
DM: But that only happens in a different story I'm working on!  
  
Link: Goodbye! *Leaves.*  
  
DM: He walked out! He actually walked out!  
  
SCSA: *Thinks.* Hey that's my job!  
  
DM: Dammit! Now I've gotta find someone else to play the Link's role! *Looks around.* How about you!  
  
SCSA: WHAT?!  
  
???: No! I shall play the main role!  
  
DM: Marth?  
  
Marth: That's PRINCE Marth!  
  
DM: Why would you want to help me?  
  
Marth: I have my reasons.... *Is thinking.* If I take Link's role I finally be able to make my move on Zelda without Link there to get in the way!  
  
DM: Riight.  
  
Marth: Oh crap! I wasn't thinking out loud again was I?!  
  
DM: Um, no?  
  
Marth: Phew.  
  
DM: Alright, we'll do the D.K. and Mario bros skits first. That'll give us time to get you into your costume. It'll also save me from a serious ass kicking courtousy of D.K.  
  
Marth: Costume?  
  
DM: Yes! Afterall, you can't play Link unless you look like him!  
  
Marth: NOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
(Somewhere....)  
  
Guy: Awe man! I'm outta money! I wander if my room mate would my mind if I called him collect?  
  
D.K.: Hey sucka! You callin' collect?  
  
Guy: Um, yes?  
  
D.K.: You usin' 1-800-(D)KOLLECT?  
  
Guy: No act-  
  
D.K.: Don't make me crack yo' skull.  
  
Guy: Yes! Yes I was!  
  
D.K.: Good! Cuz' if yuz don't.... *Smashes his fist over the guy's head.* ....I'll crack yo' skull!  
  
Narrator: Call 1-800-(D)KOLLECT and save a quarter or two!  
  
D.K.: Or else!  
  
Director: Why?! Why does it always have to end in violence?!  
  
(In Smash Bros City a battered and bruised and slightly charred Mario and Luigi are standing in front of the shack, which pretty much looks the same minus a sign hanging across the front that says "Mario Bros Italian Restaraunt".)  
  
Mario: Well it's finished!  
  
Luigi: It's-a not finished!  
  
Mario: It's-a finished enough for me! We'll open up tomorrow. Until then, I shall sleep!  
  
Luigi: Idiot.  
  
(Just outside of Vegas....)  
  
Metal Sonic: MuST DeSTROy liNk! mUST destROY! Ha....ha?  
  
(A little ways down the road....)  
  
SCSA: WATCH OUT!!!  
  
Cab Driver: Ahhhhhhhh!!!  
  
-SMACK!!!!!-  
  
Metal Sonic: HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
(The cab driver hit Metal Sonic head on sending the terminator wannabe flying. Having lost control the cab flew off the road and crashed into a rock. At the same time Metal Sonic had flipped through the air and crashed through into the wind shield of Falco's stolen cab.)   
  
Metal Sonic: MuSt DESTRoy linK!!!  
  
Falco: AHHHHHHH!!!  
  
(Falco screamed like a little girl and also lost control, he his stolen cab and Metal Sonic who was still stuck through wind shield all crashed into SCSA's cab.)  
  
Cab Driver: MY CAB!!!  
  
SCSA: MY RIBS!!!  
  
Falco: My head....  
  
Metal Sonic: mUst DEstRoy!  
  
(Suddenly a flash lit up the area and the cabs exploded sending the cab driver, SCSA, Falco, and Metal Sonic flying!)  
  
Cab Driver: YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM LAWYEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!  
  
SCSA: BITE MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!  
  
Falco: SHUT UPPPPPPPP!!!!!!  
  
Metal Sonic: MuSt DEstrOyYyYyYyYyY!!!!!!!  
  
(The four soared through the background and dissappeared as tiny stars. Meanwhile, back in Link and co's Vegas hotel, we see Marth standing there with quite possibly the frowniest, frown anyone ever frowned.)  
  
Marth: *Is wearing a Link costume complete with the white pantyhose and died hair.* I've changed my mind! I don't want to do this!  
  
DM: You'll do it and like it or I'll have Austin and D.K. stomp mudholes in you!  
  
D.K.: Yeah!  
  
SCSA: And that's the bottom line cuz' Stone Cold sez' so!  
  
Marth: Yeah?! Well Prince Marth says: Just Bring it!  
  
Zelda: *Walking over.* It was so nice of you to take Link's part Marth! I can't believe that jerk just walked out!  
  
Marth: I was more than happy to take the part! Besides, it was unjust how you were forced to work with such incompetence anyway! Him walking out was probably for the best.  
  
DM: Oh brother.  
  
D.K.: Does this mean we don't get ta kick his ass?  
  
DM: 'Fraid so.  
  
D.K.: Damn.  
  
SCSA: Hey! Who stole my beer!  
  
Bowser: *Whistles innocently.*  
  
Director: Take 1! And.... action!  
  
Fake Link/Marth: Now, Fox! I SHALL BEAT YOU UP!!!!  
  
Fox: No! Don't hurt me! I said I was sorry!  
  
Marth: Sorry is not enough! Now scream in agony as I BEAT YOU UP!!!!  
  
Fox: Eeek!  
  
(Marth dove at Fox and hit him with his shield breaker technique sending him flying across the room.)  
  
Marth: Had enough weakling? Or must I beat you up some more?  
  
Fox: Bring it!  
  
Marth: HIYA!  
  
(Marth rushed at Fox but Fox countered with Fox Illusion and knocked Marth down. Fox started powering up his Fire Fox attack and launched himself straight into Marth taking him down again.)  
  
Fox: *Doing his taunt.* Come on!  
  
Marth: Grrr!  
  
(Marth quickley got back up. Fox attempted another Fox Illusion but Barth saw it coming and shielded. Marth then hit Fox with his forward+B combo, taking Fox down for the count.)  
  
Marth: Yes! Victory!  
  
Fox: Ugh....  
  
???: muST dEStrOY LInk!  
  
Marth: Metal Sonic?!  
  
Metal Sonic: TarGET sPOttED! I MusT DeSTRoy teh tARget!  
  
Marth: Incompetent walking toaster! I, Marth-er Link, shall BEAT YOU UP!!!!  
  
???: Stop right there, you imposter!  
  
Marth: Link!  
  
Link: Marth!  
  
Metal Sonic: TwO LInKs?!?!?!  
  
DM: Link I thought you said you had had enough?!  
  
Link: I did, but I'll be damned if I let you replace me with this farce!  
  
Marth: Grrr!  
  
Link: Grrr!  
  
Metal Sonic: MasTER nEVer tOLD me wHat to dO IF I fOUnd tWo LINKs! wAIt! I knOw! I'lL kiLL dem bOTH! Ha.... ha! sUpER bEAm aTtaCK tHingY!!!  
  
(Metal Sonic started charging some, most likely highly destructive, attack. However Link and Marth were too busy trying to itimidate each other to notice.)  
  
DM: Um, guys?  
  
Marth: I WILL BEAT YOU UP!!!!  
  
Link: In your dreams!  
  
Metal Sonic: Ha.... ha!  
  
DM: Ah crap. *Runs for cover.*  
  
Metal Sonic: nOw yOU dIe! *Fires a huge beam of energy straight at Link and Marth frying them both and causing a huge explosion destroying much of the hotel lobby.)  
  
Link: AHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Marth: IEEEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
Metal Sonic: Ha.... ha!  
  
Link: The pain! Make it stop!  
  
Marth: The burning! The horrible, horrible, burning!  
  
Metal Sonic: NoW i sHAll fINisH yoU oFf! Ha.... ha!  
  
Link: Dammit, that's the last straw! *Attacks Metal Sonic.*  
  
Metal Sonic: *Blocks Link's attack with his force field.* pATHetIc hUMan! I aM InviNcIBLe! Ha.... ha!  
  
Link: Oh man! Not good!  
  
Marth: It burns!!!  
  
Metal Sonic: Ha.... ha!  
  
Link: Wait.... (Pulls out small, oddly colored, box.)  
  
(Beginning flashback.)  
  
Link: Hey Roy what's that?  
  
Roy: This box? A wierd old man gave it to me. It supposedly contains the most annoying force in the multi-verse!  
  
Link: Cool! Trade ya' the lens of truth for it!  
  
Roy: Deal!  
  
(End of flashback.)  
  
Link: Alright you! Prepare to feel my wrath!  
  
Metal Sonic: Wha?!  
  
(Link pulled the top off the box and suddenly a small army of tiny Mr. Game and Watch's jumped out of the box and clung to Metal Sonic and started doing there taunt over and over.)  
  
Tiny Mr. G&Ws: *Taunting.*  
  
Metal Sonic: No! ThE nOIse! MaKE iT sTop! mAke IT sTOp! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Explodes.*  
  
Tiny Mr. G&Ws: *Continue to taunt and generally annoy everyone until they are blown away by the wind.*  
  
Link: Hmmm.... *Picks up a metal plate that came from Metal Sonic.* What the?! "Sonic corp."? Grrr! Sonic was behind this! *Takes out a notepad and a pen.* Note to self: Find and kick Sonic's ass when you get back.*  
  
(A week and 55 minutes in the future.)  
  
Sonic: Mwahahahaha!!! Yes! Surely Link is dead by now! Mwahahahahaha!!!  
  
-Ding-Dong!!!-  
  
Sonic: Ooh! That was the door bell! It must be the pizza delivery man! *Opens the door.* WTF?!  
  
Link: Come 'ere you!  
  
Sonic: Ahhhhhh!!! No! Stop it! Wait! What are doing?! NO! NOT THERE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Back in the past.)  
  
DM: Well that didn't exactly go as I had scripted it.  
  
Link: I demand to have my role back!  
  
DM: Well....  
  
Marth: Not so fast Link!  
  
Link: Damn. I was hoping maybe you disintegrated or something.  
  
Marth: You shall pay for insolence fool!  
  
Link: *Pulls out a bomb.* I don't think so.  
  
(Marth attempts to hit Link with his shield breaker but Link dodges and throws the bomb at Marth and sends him flying through the roof and in to the stratus sphere.*  
  
Marth: I WILL HAVE MY REVENGGGGEEEEE!!!!!!! *Dissappears.*  
  
DM: Well, it looks like your the victor, Link, so the role is yours again.  
  
Link: Oh yeah! *Does his victory taunt.*  
  
Zelda: Hey Link! Huh? The real Link's back. What happened to Marth?  
  
DM: Link blasted him straight in to the atmosphere.  
  
Zelda: You what?!  
  
Link: He was being so annoying!  
  
Zelda: Ugh. Well, anyway, what I was going to say was we should probably go to sleep early so we can hit the town as early as possible.  
  
Link: Why?  
  
Zelda: So we'll be able to go to sleep early tomorrow allowing us to get the next day without are plane taking off without us.  
  
Link: Oh.  
  
Zelda: Hey. Where's Falco and Roy and Bowser?  
  
Falco: I'm right here.  
  
(Falco and SCSA slowly walk into the room. They both have many bandades all over there frame and Falco has a cast on his right leg and arm. SCSA has cast around his neck and a cast on his right leg. Falco is using walker and SCSA has crutches.)  
  
SCSA: Move your ass, son! I ain't got all day!  
  
Falco: Don't make me shoot you!  
  
Zelda: What about Roy and Bowser?  
  
Link: I don't know where Roy is. Bowser's probably still in the bar getting smashed.  
  
Zelda: Well I guess we better get some sleep.  
  
Link: Wait for me!  
  
Zelda: No! After what you did to poor Marth I'm not letting you near me!  
  
Link: What?!  
  
SCSA: How many times are you people going to steal MY line?!  
  
Fox: You can bunk in our room! Just you'll have to sleep on the floor.  
  
Link: Dammit!  
  
(In the bar....)  
  
Bowser: Gimme.... more.... ugh.... *Passes out.*  
  
Bartender: Finally!  
  
(4:00 AM, Day 2 of 3. (I finally made it to day 2! Woohoo!!))  
  
Bowser: Ugh.... I don't feel so good.  
  
Bartender: Well, you did drink 500 or so beers.  
  
Bowser: Maybe I can sleep it off.  
  
(And so Bowser made his way out of the bar and headed for room 13.)  
  
Bowser: *Opens the door.* Ugh.... Must.... sleep. *Shuts the door and goes into the room and turns on a lamp.*  
  
Roy: NOOOO!!! THE LIGHT!!! TOO MUCH LIGHT!!!  
  
Bowser: Roy?  
  
Roy: *Smashes the lamp.* Mwahahahahahaha!!!  
  
Bowser: Roy what the hell are you doing?!  
  
Roy: I am not Roy! I am.... THE DRAGON!!!! Mwahahahaha! I am the Dragon! I am the Dragon! The Red Dragon!  
  
Bowser: Have you been watching Hannibal Lecter movies again?  
  
Roy: REDRUM! KILL! MURDER! DESTROY!  
  
Bowser: I don't have the energy to put up with this crap. I'm going to sleep.  
  
Roy: NO! The man that lives in your dreams with the wierd glove and the chainsaw and the hockey mask will get you!  
  
Bowser: You mean Freddy Krueger? He doesn't have a chainsaw or a hockey mask.  
  
Roy: Beware the purple werewolfs with the curly tails!  
  
Bowser: Dear GOD what have you been smoking?!  
  
Roy: WHEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
---  
DM: Will Roy ever be normal again? Have we seen the last of Sonic and his evil schemes? Will people stop stealing Austin's lines? Tune in next time to find out! 


End file.
